I absolutely LOVE having surprises up my sleeve for people. Like really love it. I mean I walk around here with a goofy grin on my face, all giggly like. So it's been a fun couple of days because I have a fun surprise up my sleeve for Sean!! Now, I can't give any details on here yet (duh!) but trust me...when I unfold it all on Thursday...I will write all about it! How on earth does this constitute thankfulness? And so much so that I am actually a day early (SURPRISE!!) posting this? Well...lemme explain. I had to do some research online today looking for ideas and such. I found this amazing website that you can get the link to right HERE! These ladies have got some pretty amazing ideas to keeping a marriage (relationship in this case) fun and they are pretty creative. Sooo....the thankfulness part of it....
Whilst reading up on this awesome blog today getting ideas, I realized how much stuff Sean and I already do on a regular basis to show the love and appreciation we have for each other. I'm talking several times I was reading through an idea and I thought "we already do that one!" and had to move on. That made me so happy! We both go out of our way doing small, thoughtful things throughout the day; the little things that really do mean so much. Nearly every morning (he is waaay more consistent than I am~like he does this every day) we leave each other quick notes to start the day. Nothing big; just a few lines about something we are looking forward to that evening, or a specific thing we love about each other, or just how we hope the other has a great day. If one of us is having a particularly tough time, words of encouragement are almost always found to brighten the day. It may be a coke (for me) and peanut butter m&m's brought to me at work as a surprise or me grabbing a dr. pepper (for him-yuck) or leaving a book I found and thought he would like in the seat of his truck in the morning. Flowers are pretty important around the house, too. In over a year together, I haven't gone a day without fresh flowers in the house because he sees to it that he buys (or picks if he sees extra nice ones) flowers and surprises me with them...they may be in crazy places (in the shower, a single flower in my purse, my truck...you name it) but they have really brightened my life up. It takes just a few minutes a day to show appreciation, people!!
I know this is a horribly long post...but I'm sorry. It's kind of an important deal to me because how many people have a blah relationship because they don't appreciate what they have? I am so thankful for what God has brought to my life and I look for ways to show Sean every single day. Whether it's a text in the middle of the day that I'm thinking about him, or a dr pepper and candy bar on my way home from work, I am so thankful that I have been blessed with somebody who makes me feel just as appreciated, and who makes it a priority to nurture our relationship.
So keep up in the next few days on my regular, every day posts and I will show you what I have planned for Sean's surprise. I'm like a freaking kid at Christmas!! I can't wait!!
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| Started the day by waking up to a flower on my pillow... |
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| And one on the message board...with a very sweet note to go along with it. |
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| And even one along with a couple of sweet treats. |
NOVEMBER 29, 2011
It has totally blown my mind that 2011 is almost over. I guess it has just hit me that it's almost December and that before we know it the new year is about to roll over. I'm already making plans into the next year, and every time I write in the calendar it kinda freaks me out a little bit to flip the pages over and there's 2012 at the top of the page. The past few days, I have to say I am so thankful for the possibilities of the future. As I look ahead through the next year, I am so excited about all of the great changes and opportunities that are ahead for our family. There are going to be challenges as well, as we are facing a few at the moment, but with the love and support of our family and each other, we can face anything and end up stronger in the end. Even with these nerve wracking and stressful moments, we are strong and stand alongside each other in support, knowing that we are each others refuge from what the world can throw at us. That is really not something a lot of people can say that they are blessed to experience, and I am so thankful I finally understand that feeling of not having to shoulder the burden on my own anymore.
So for today, and yesterday too, I am thankful for possibilities. Both the incredibly amazing, like the engagement and our future as a family, and the not so wonderful, like a few situations going on right at the moment. Because even in the challenging times, there are possibilities to learn, grow, and mature. Not only for the ones directly involved in the life changing circumstances, but for those close enough to be able to learn from the experience, as well.
NOVEMBER 25-26, 2011
Okay, okay...I realize it's been a few days since my last thankfulness post. But can you blame me?? I've been on the world wide ring tour, and quite frankly, I'm enjoying every single second of the newly engaged lifestyle. So I am going to give the quick rundown of my thankies in list format. Cause I'm really tired and ready for bed...and I really didn't want to go any longer without writing. Here's my Thanksgiving Thankful list:
1. Well, duh. This one's easy. I'm thankful that on 11/23 my life was changed for the better. Both in 2001 AND 2011. Ten years ago Jax was born, and on Wednesday, my best friend and love of my life melted my heart and proposed. And of course I said yes! (See previous posts...)
2. Wednesday night (before the big night of heart melting) we were blessed to have Thanksgiving supper with an extended family...and I am so thankful that I have been adopted right in. The friendships that Sean has built over the years make me feel just as loved...and accepted...and I love being myself around them just as much as I am around Sean. They truly are an extended family and I am thankful for each one of them.
3. Thursday we got to celebrate Thanksgiving with my mom and the rest of my family. I even got to see my aunt and cousins that I haven't seen since my uncle's funeral...it was so great to spend time with them again...and we won't let it go this long till the next time. Especially since they only live like an hour away!
4. We spent some fun, quality time with Tyler, and got to have some great big-boy talks. I'm so thankful that our kids have accepted us all as a family...Sean loves the kids...I love Tyler...the kids love Tyler and Sean...you get the point. Jordy says that even though her big brothers tease her, she still loves them. We are truly blessed to have the open, loving, and trusting relationship with our kids that we do.
5. Over the holiday, we got some much needed us time. It's been kinda crazy 'roun here, and now adding to the mix planning a wedding with work, school, kids, looking to buy a house, blah blah blah...we need all the time we can get! We really got to relish the newly engaged glow this weekend!
5. Speaking of...I have realized recently that not one person~NOT ONE I tell ya~has expressed reservations about Sean and I. That's pretty big, cause in both of our past relationships, not too many people were pleased with any of our choices, and freely expressed their reservations! And when we announced our engagement, we got nothing but love and support and well wishes. We saw smiles and got more hugs this past weekend...I can honestly say that we are now living out the bible verse "I have found the one my soul loves..." and for that...no amount of thankfulness will be sufficient.
Welp, that seems like a great stopping point for the night. Hope all had a great Thanksgiving, full of blessings and gratitude. I know we did...and we will for years to come!
NOVEMBER 24, 2011
We headed over to celebrate the annual feast with friends, as has been the tradition for several years. Sean hasn't been feeling at that well the past few days, so when he said he didn't want to stay late, I really didn't think much of it. We both worked on Wednesday, so it was stacking up to be a long day. As we were headed out to head over to supper, I noticed that Sean had put one of our blankets in the backseat of the the truck; something worth making a comment on. His response? "Well, it might get cold over at Ian's house." My super smart reply came in the form of "we can go inside." This conversation went on a few seconds and somehow he shut me up and I didn't think twice about it...and we were off. We all ate and enjoyed the time together. Shortly after supper, Sean mentioned he was ready to go. I figured he wasn't feeling well, so I didn't question it. We said our goodbye's and thank you's, and off we went. Red flag numero dos was when he suggested we stop and grab a six pack...I thought he wasn't feeling well so that kinda peaked my interest a bit. Then he mentioned we should drive the long way home. Again, I was a bit curious, but not thinking much about it. It was a nice night out and we were spending time together, so I was happy.
After driving the backroads of Payne County for what seemed like miles, we ended up at the lake, where we were the only ones there. It was completely deserted, except for a beautiful white crane on the water. We pulled in and sat in the truck for a second, enjoying the quiet and the beauty of the dark water. Sean jumped out of the truck and grabbed the blanket, and we headed down by the water. This is exactly where we had our first date over a year ago; a picnic of fried chicken and all the sides (a good friend told him if she doesn't like fried chicken she's not worth the time~so it was a test). That first night ended up being us talking long into the night, and when it got too cool to be by the water, we moved the date to his truck and headed out for a long drive. Last night was the first time we had taken a blanket and sat down by the water again at the lake, just the two of us, since our first date. All the times since have been us taking the kids swimming, so there really wasn't much quiet romance involved.
Because of how our life is, nothing we do is without a comedic interlude, and last night was no exception. As we were sitting by the water and talking, we noticed a vehicle pull up next to the truck. We were sitting a good little ways from out truck, so while this person was getting out of their vehicle to come to us took a few seconds. Turns out it was a cop, just "checking on us". After some BS small talk about the weather (seriously) he left us alone and drove off into the night. Little did he know what he had just walked up on...
Needless to say, I said yes, and the waterworks and I can't believe its and are you serious's began. I am still in awe at the fact that I am now able to say I get to marry my best friend and love of my life. Every time I look down at the (beautiful!!) ring I thank God for these moments...because this is what life is all about, and the kind of love I've always dreamed about having. It's funny because I thought it would feel kinda funny or weird with the ring on...but it feels so natural. Like it was made for my hand. Or my hand was made for this ring. Either way, I love the way it feels.
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| The picture doesn't do the ring justice...by a long shot! |
PS~I have to give credit to my little man Jaxton...he and Sean have been talking about this and he helped Sean "plan" this out, but not one time gave away any kind of hint to me. That boy was a vault when it came to any info. Trust me...I tried to get it out of him. And every few days he would ask Sean if he had proposed yet...I'm not sure who was more excited when he did...me or Jaxton! When I told the kids about it they were so excited with the whooping and hollering...I wonder how many kids get that excited when their parent breaks the news that they are engaged? We are so blessed to have a stable family relationship we are building...
NOVEMBER 23, 2011
Today, I am so grateful to God for giving me the gift of a son. I am so blessed that He thought I would be the kind of mom this kid needs in his life...for some reason. I just hope I can do justice and be what he deserves. I am so thankful for Jaxton...this boy makes me smile every single day and has to be the sweetest, most caring, compassionate, and gentlest spirited boy on this earth. How on earth I am so blessed I will never know, but I've learned to never question God on this. It is what it is. So today, I am overwhelmed with the love of a little boy; the love of the boy who first stole my heart with just one look and who will forever have it with him the rest of his life. Happy birthday, Jaxton. I love you!
NOVEMBER 22, 2011
So today is my birthday. I'm at that point in life, though, that my birthday has started to lose that exciting sort of appeal that starts about 3 months before the big day and ends in a sleepless birthday eve. No, I guess at this point, it's starting to just be another day of work and life...another check mark on the 'ol calender. I will have to say that my day has sorta been hijacked since Jax came along...his birthday being the day after mine means that I'm usually scrambling to get the last minute details finished up for all of his birthday blowouts. So it's pretty easy to put my day off to the side and not really think much about it, which really is okay with me. Seriously. Cause I have stopped ageing at like 21, and it's funny how everyone around me keeps getting older, yet I'm still the same age. Haven't figured that one out yet...but to be honest I'm really not trying all that hard.
I woke up today like I usually do...jumping up with a huge grin on my face ready to face another glorious day. Nah. I kid. I rolled outta bed 15 minutes late, grumbled something about working cause those on welfare were counting on me, and did my typical rush around~coffee...pee...shower. In between that mess I checked my phone for emails and such and found that I already had a number of birthday wishes. I was floored at the number of people that had already taken the time out of their busy night (?) or early morning to tell me happy birthday. All day long, my phone kept a 'buzzin. Every few minutes a new alert would pop up, and there would be another call, text, or facebook message wishing me a great day. I really saw how truly loved and blessed I am by the number of family and friends, both new and lifelong, that I have. I know I say I am blessed because of all of the amazing people that love me, but I really got to see that in action today. The sweet, funny, and caring messages made my day, to say the least. I smiled and said "Awww" to myself each and every time I read them. Seriously.
Today, I am so thankful that I am blessed beyond measure to be loved and surrounded by such amazing people in my, and my family's, life. This love really shined through to me today...and really made the day one of the happiest 21st birthday's yet!
NOVEMBER 21, 2011
Last night, Sean and I made the annual trip to 'ye 'ol toy isle at the Walmarts. What, you ask, is the special occasion? Christmas? Nope. Were we bored and need new things to play with? Close, but that's a negatory, goat rider. My first love's birthday is in a few days (Wednesday, to be exact) and the kid needs his stuff. He's gonna be 10, and while I'm planning to save the main "I'm so blessed because of my son" post till his actual birthday, I do have something good that came out of the shopping trip, other than a lighter wallet.
We live on a budget, and would even if the need wasn't there. We teach the kids that money is far from everything, and that the cost of something does not equal it's worth or value. This is not necessarily the same views they get everywhere in their lives, so sometimes things can get pretty confusing for them, as far as equating money with love goes. Someday, the story about us feeding them "Walmart pizza" will be shared. Funny stuff. Anyways. We have a set budget for kid focused holidays that is fairly firm; with all three birthdays within about a month of Christmas, plus Christmas to buy for, things can get a lil' hairy! And that's not to mention all of the other gifts, and our own holiday stuff too. Plus throw in my own birthday and Thanksgiving, and a host of other birthdays and we have a super duper busy month.
But as we were shopping for Jaxton's gifts, I was thinking of how blessed we are to be able to provide him with gifts that he will hopefully (he's gonna be 10 so who knows) love and within reason financially...not that we couldn't afford more, but that he and the other kids are learning financial responsibility as well by learning from our example. They may not like it now, but eventually they will thank us. Maybe not out loud, but deep down they will.
I am so thankful that we are able to teach the kids restraint when it comes to spending money on things we want and not need. There is a difference, and in today's world, kids aren't taught how to recognize that. I see it at my work every single day. After learning some of these lessons the hard way, I am blessed to be able to be a positive influence in the kid's lives'...especially when it comes to money and making responsible decisions. Now. Here's the funny thing. Had you asked me 6 or 8 years ago, or anyone else for that matter, if this is what I would be writing about, they would probably pee their pants with laughter. And so would I, really. So I've matured a little...it was bound to happen, hu?
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| This soon-to-be 10 year old deserves nothing but the world! Excuse the crazy-mama-straight-out-the-lake look I'm rocking... |
NOVEMBER 20, 2011
It's a gloomy, cool Sunday morning, and as of this moment, I'm relaxing with my third (possibly...I've lost count) cup of coffee and enjoying the laziness of the day with Sean. While I am thankful for days like this in general, there is one aspect of it that I am especially grateful for; the laid back, hair pulled up, comfy loungy pants and fuzzy socks. And my favorite tshirt. All straight from the dryer, smelling fresh and clean. And while I probably look a little rough, all I have heard, several times actually, this morning is how beautiful and cute I look. How many girls who, probably at their most vulnerable, get to hear things like that? Even if he really has to force himself to say that, he is very believable! He's not that kind of guy, though, and only says things if he means it, so I believe that, to him at least, he really thinks that I look cute in my sweats and fuzzy socks. I am such a lucky, and loved, girl.
As mundane and completely dull as it may seem, and as many eyes that might be rolling at this moment, I am so grateful that I don't have have any kind of pretenses at home. This is me. No trying to impress, or be anything. At home in my sweats I feel as open to be myself than I can be anywhere else...and to be able to share that part of me with someone who loves me for all I have to offer makes me want to share even more of myself. I can be in my sweats and t shirt, and somebody still thinks I'm beautiful. It may only be one person on earth, but to me, that's the only person in the world that matters.
NOVEMBER 19, 2011
Today was one of those days that really puts things into perspective. The sudden, unexpected loss of the top leaders in the women's basketball coaching staff really hit home; we see these kids on a near-daily basis at work and can only imagine the pain they are experiencing right now. Life isn't fair; never has been and sadly, never will be. People are ripped away from us way too soon, and in way too tragic ways for us to comprehend, and in the midst of the pain it is very difficult to understand the whys and hows, if we ever really do. As someone who, unfortunately, isn't new to the experiencing loss business, these kinds of sudden tragedies really seem to bring up all kids of deep seeded emotions for me. If allowed to, I can sure let my mind, and emotions, get the best of me and I find myself wallering in the why me hole of self pity. I still have these days; there seems to be an invisible line that the most insignificant comment of event can throw me over and cause an emotional train wreck for me. I suppose that will never change, really, but time does lesson the degree to which they control my life. I do pride myself on how I am able to hide the turmoil.
With all of that said, I have to say that I am grateful for the rough times in life. For the tragedies, and the sad times. Because without them, I don't believe I would have the ability to really appreciate the not only great times, but also the perfectly steady periods of time too. I have been given the choice to either waller in the pain or move ahead, even with the hurt and the tragedies because they never go away, but by choosing to focus on the high points in my life, of which there are many, the bad doesn't seem so overwhelming. So, as insane as it seems, through the trials that have and will come through the rest of my life, I will be thankful. Maybe not at the time, but at least on the other side of them. Because what doesn't kill me really will make me more thankful.
NOVEMBER 18, 2011
With the Thanksgiving holiday fast approaching, the events with food as the center of attention have taken over our lives. Today at work (well, really yesterday since I'm just posting this one today...follow me here) we had our big bring food and stuff yourself day to celebrate the impending holiday. As I walked in and looked around the break room, trying to decide what it was I wanted to eat and what smelled so dang good, I took a moment to just offer up a prayer of thankfulness because of all of the extras I have been given. Not only are all of our needs met, but we are given so much more, as well. There have been some pretty lean times in the last few years, but through it all, we have never lacked for what we needed. Maybe what we wanted, but never needed. The bills always got paid, the roof stayed over our heads, and our bellies were always full. One way or another.
Looking at all the extra food today, I am so thankful that all of my family's needs are met, every single day. At the end of the day, all of our basic needs are met, and then a whole lot more. We are blessed, beyond measure, and given all we need. We don't live beyond our means, and we don't have a fancy-pants lifestyle, which is fan-flipping-tastic if you ask me, because of all the lessons being taught with that one. The kids don't always agree, but someday they will understand. Hopefully. :)
So, naturally, in the season of thankfulness, I am thankful for having all we need. And even during the times I might stress out about money or finances, I know that we are taken care of, because God has never let us down before, and I sure doubt He's gonna start now!
NOVEMBER 17, 2011
As a continuation to yesterdays post, I have to say that I am so thankful that my family is so accepting and nonjudgmental of people, based on who they are. Not to say that we don't have any fun, cause we do, but that's a whole different ballgame! What I mean is that regardless of who a person is, or what they have to offer, or have or don't have, as long as they are genuine and treat others respectfully, we were taught that we are in no position to judge anyone. We all have our issues and hang ups; there is no telling where a person comes from or the battles they have fought to get to where they are. It burns me up when I hear about people getting judged based upon not meeting someone's stupid standards...they don't make enough money, or they don't drive a nice enough vehicle or their house isn't exactly what's considered better than the Jones'. I am so grateful that my parents had enough thought and consideration to raise us to know better than to base our opinions on people not on what can be lost in a heartbeat, but on what is on the inside. Cause in the end, that is all that will be left of a person. The money will leave, and the true character of a person will shine through.
I have had the privilege to know and love some pretty amazing people that some may not consider the cream of the crop of society, but man are people missing out on a lifetime of blessings from overlooking them because they may not have everything they "should" have to be successful. I've heard of people being judged based on their having had kids early in life, not making enough money (how shallow is THAT??), past mistakes (really?? like they've never made any?) and even...get this...saying someone isn't good enough to love because of these things. Wow. I'm really going to hate to see what happens to these different people when karma kicks them in the ass. And it will.
So as I step off my soapbox...I have to say I am so thankful that I have started to see my parents lessons come to life all around me; it's not what you have, or where you have it...not what you drive or where. It's who you are with and what they add to your life. It's the friends and family you have by your side when troubled times do hit. I am so blessed to be given the chance to love and to be loved by a wide variety of people from diverse backgrounds. Our parents, and really all those that influenced us, really went out of their way to show us that it really isn't the material things in life, or the image that we portray to others that matter. Because that is the most shallow and vain way to live. It is who you have by your side...your family and friends...that really matter. The people you have who only care about the stuff in your wallet will leave as soon as the money does. And it will...cause life is kinda funny like that.
NOVEMBER 16, 2011
Family has always been important to me, but during a period of time in my life they definitely took a back seat to other priorities I had and that were laid out for me. It happened slowly over the years; living just out of everyday reach sure didn't help either. Sadly, out of trying to be respectful, I let the control and desire of others come before what I should have stood up to protect (that whole hindsight is 20/20 bit). But. God in His infinite wisdom has better plans than ours, and has a pretty good way of making things good, regardless. I am so thankful that, despite what may have happened over the years, my family still loves me, even if they have to! We are able to pick up where we left off, and build on our relationships. I have had to rely on them more than I ever thought possible the last few years, and they have jumped in and done everything they could do. More than they ever needed to do; going above and beyond many times over. What I love about my family is that they seem to know when I need something. Not necessarily a physical need to be met, but even a word of encouragement, or a laugh, or a crazy, off the wall picture to make me roll my eyes (thanks Bub). I am not one to ask for help (from ANYONE, thank you) but I really don't need to from them; they step up at the right time, and don't ask for anything in return. Usually. :)
Not only have I been blessed with an incredible family to be born into, I cannot say enough about the "bonus" family God has given me and the kids. Dado, Ms. Becky, Dooder and Ecca and their extended family have welcomed us in with open arms and love us no differently than their own and have shown us the love of family so many countless times that they are just as much a family to us, too. The kids and I have also been "initiated" (is that the right word??) into the big, extended E family, as well. The niece, nephews, grandma and mom who love me, regular texts from my favorite big dad in California, and big 'ol bear hugs mean being treated no differently (is that a good thing?) than if we were there since day one...such an incredible feeling. I would love to think it's because we are so freaking awesome...but truth is everyone is probably so excited Sean FINALLY found someone halfway normal and decent. ;)
Today, I am so thankful for family...both the one I was born into and the ones that love me despite not giving birth to me. They love me despite myself sometimes, and have helped to pick up the pieces on more than one occasion, and would do it again in a heartbeat. God has given me and the kids the opportunity to have a wide variety of people to love in our lives, and, because of that, have been blessed more than we could ever begin to understand.
NOVEMBER 15, 2011
Sometimes, we have to be reminded of the most basic life principles of life. We just need to get our butts smacked back onto the center of the road...to get our focus back on track to the things that are really important. Here is where funerals come in handy. Sean and I both really HATE to go to them; unless it's somebody we really love and respect, we both avoid them like the plague. Yesterday was the funeral of somebody that he really loved and admired, so we both went. The words were comforting for the family, and by the sound of it I missed out on getting to know a terrific, if not spunky, woman. And you know how I feel about the spunky ones...I have a special place in my heart for 'em! I usually leave funerals feeling blessed; blessed for what I have and who I have in my life to love. Unfortunately, I've love and lost a lot of people in my life. Like my dad has always said...when you've been blessed with a lot of people to love, the downside is there is a lot more loss. But...such is life.
Not much "new" is said at funerals that I haven't heard before. I know that preacher's are trying to comfort families and be profound at the same time. Sometimes it works...but usually it doesn't. Just my opinion. The young preacher did an okay job yesterday. But. Something he said really stuck out to me. He said he can't really "preach" a funeral. Everybody preaches their own funeral when they are alive. Their actions, leading up to their death, speak volumes...no amount of talking can undo what has been done during a lifetime. Regardless of what anyone gets up and says, everyone will know the truth.
So today, I am thankful for the reminder to live my life as if I'm writing my own obituary. It's kind of morbid on some level, I realize, but it's the truth. After a long, productive, and spunky life, I want to be the kind of old lady that when I die, everyone has all kinds of fun and happy memories to tell. I want my funeral to speak for itself.
NOVEMBER 14, 2011
I really haven't had a difficult time finding different things to write about throughout this little experiment. Some days, I will admit, require a bit more searching for the bright spots than others, but such is life. Until today. Here is my list of things I am thankful for. And by this list, I'm sure it won't take much thinking to figure out how my day has gone...here goes...
1. It won't be Monday much longer.
2. I'm not at work anymore.
3. I am brighter than and have more common sense than the average college student. (There are exceptions, though.)
4. I don't melt in the rain when I forget my umbrella AND I have to park 5 parking lots away. (I am exaggerating. A little.)
5. I was a little bit surprised that I didn't melt in the rain.
6. I pulled into the driveway on a cool, dark and rainy fall evening after a long, busy frustrating day to see the Christmas lights on, and the tree all lit up in the window.
7. When I walked into the front door, the smell of supper was in the air, and just about ready to eat.
8. Now we are relaxing in a quiet, peaceful home that is full of love, laughter, and is a refuge in a stormy, uncertain world.
I see how this works...the more I work on this thankful business, the more I realize what I actually have to be truly grateful for. The list just keeps growing...
NOVEMBER 13, 2011
PS...Jax was here too, but found a fort he needed to build and was out of picture range. Just saying...
NOVEMBER 12, 2011
And for this beautiful, relaxing Saturday, my thankful moment came early. I love when that happens because it seems the rest of the day is full of 'em. This morning was the ideal, perfect fall morning...crisp, cool and damp. The "woods" behind the house (a small area of trees that seem like a dense forest to the kids) are full of trees with beautiful colored leaves, and when the wind blows through mixed with the smells (both good and not so great) of the big dairy farm nearby...I'm in heaven. Combine the peaceful scenery with perfect company of adult conversation, a hot cup of coffee, and the Saturday newspaper, and I can't really think of a better way to kick off a great day. No rushing around...no having to be somewhere. I absolutely love it. When our bellies got to a 'rummblin, we headed in to rustle us (and a boat load of kids) up some grub. We fixed an institution sized amount of biscuits and gravy (I'm not even kidding about that) and just kicked back and relaxed watching Saturday morning cartoons. And the bestest, greatest part of the day is that we are just winging it...no real plans. Just ideas. Might go fishing...need to go to town. At some point. When we get around to it. This is so nice. I love these days, and as they get fewer and farther between, I am more and more appreciative and thankful for Saturdays just like this.
NOVEMBER 11, 2011
NOVEMBER 10, 2011
NOVEMBER 9, 2011
Sometimes, we take the small things for granted in life. We never take the time to say thank you to the people who go above and beyond to do things for us; those who sacrifice time, money and energy to go that extra mile on our behalf. Tonight, I am so grateful, beyond belief, for someone as giving and who doesn't think twice about going that extra 5 miles as Sean. Today (well the last few weeks, actually) have been, well, not the best ever. No biggie. Life goes on and I am grateful for having the stability of love in my family to know that there is a safe haven from the world that I can go to be protected from the harsh realities of life. That being said, today was another one of them days, and I knew after work I was gonna get to go home and do several hours of homework. Yay. Yay for Art Appreciation. Sean took it upon himself to worry about supper (frozen pizzas...one of my favorites) and even got dessert stuff (strawberry shortcake...one of our favorites). Oh and he even managed to work in a shoulder massage, too. But here is where the extra mile comes in. I absolutely love pumpkin spice coffee creamer and at this time of the year it can be a bear to find around here. Being the incredible, big hearted person he is, as tired as he was, he ended up going to a different store...across town...because the first grocery store didn't have any. For coffee creamer. For me to take to work, no less. How many people would have just shrugged it off and said oh well? Too many, I'm sure. So today, I am thanking God for blessing me with a man who has a heart of gold. I am so loved and it shows!
NOVEMBER 8, 2011
Today is going to be short and sweet, cause that's how tired I am. And it's only Tuesday. But I'm still thankful for a lot of things, one of which is the A's I worked my tail end off for (okay, not really. I like my butt and don't want it to go anywhere). And one of those A's was a freaking perfect A. In Marketing. I didn't even like that class. But that's how hard I worked. I'm so thankful that sometimes, hard work does pay off. Perseverance is rewarded, and dadgumit, all those late nights of reading, and rereading the same thing over and over again, finally paid off. I had an especially hard class last quarter. And now, I will be especially thankful if I make an A in accounting...Lord help us all.
NOVEMBER 7, 2011
I know I'm going to get a lot of flack for this, but I really don't care. Actually I already have, so bring it. I can handle it. In earlier posts I wrote about how I put up the Christmas tree, but didn't decorate it, since we were going to wait for the kids to get home before we put up the decorations. Last night was that night; after supper we got to decorating. I have to say it was a little bit weird putting up the Christmas tree when it was in the 70's outside (although it's by far not the first time), but we managed. It was mostly me and Jordy doing the work...the boys just nodded and threw out some suggestions. And encouragement. "Great job girls". That was their contribution. Humph. Boys. Actually, we had a small MMA match when I first brought out the ornaments and started going through them. Apparently the kids get some kind of amnesia when it comes to who made what (never mind their names are on the back) and we had some serious arguing going on. Should have seen their faces when I told them their names where on them...priceless!
This is going to sound selfish, but follow me here. I'm not trying to be at all. I promise. For today, I am thankful that I'm a relaxed and easygoing parent. I have to say that I see parents who would freak and say no way to putting up the tree this early when the kids wanted to, or put up their drawings on the wall (actually drives me a little crazy, but I'll live), or live within the "box" of what society says what is normal. Sean and I really try to have a home where the kids can have fun, be themselves, and create memories that will last a lifetime. If that means looking at the Christmas tree for a few extra weeks, than so be it.
NOVEMBER 6, 2011
Well, I have to say, just as my life works, the one thing I am thankful for yesterday kinda backfired on me. Not too long after I posted the "It's been a perfectly slow, long, relaxing Saturday today, and for that, I am thankful." statement, things kinda got a little shook up around here. Sean and I were in a relaxed coma of heaven on the couch, enjoying the football game, full belly, and Christmas tree (see yesterday's post) when, out of nowhere, came a noise and feeling that could only be described as a freight train rumbling through the living room. We actually live really close (right down the road, actually) to the small, municipal airport, and while that usually means absolutely nothing, on game days it means a lot. There are quite a few jets that fly in and out of there (thank you T. Boone!) and it can sure make the windows rattle when the big ones roll in and out. So my first instinct when the windows went to rattlin' was that the jets were starting the trek back to Kansas. It was right as the game ended, so no biggie. Although, this was a lot louder, and a whole heck of a lot closer. Then, about 20 seconds into it, we both looked at each other and realized, with these WTF looks on our faces, that it was a freaking earthquake going on.
I can handle tornadoes. I can deal with floods. I don't mind droughts or hot weather. I hate the cold, but manage. One thing I have never before experienced and could have lived without was an earthquake. It was a feeling of uncontrollable insanity inside, especially since I really didn't know what it was. And it lasted for.ev.er. Probably 90 seconds. It went on. and on. and on. All we could do is listen to every thing rattle, feel the earth move and stare at each other. I hate it. That sealed the deal on me never moving to California...not that I ever had the idea to begin with!
So, in this post-quake recovery mode, I am thankful that God is always protecting us. Even in the minor stuff that we freak out about. Even in the times that we are woke up from the most relaxing moments on the couch with our love...I am so thankful that we are still here, and not swallowed up in some huge rut in the earth! Hey...it could happen! Seriously, in the drastic tornado's, the floods, the snow, the heavy storms, and the earthquakes, God is our protector, and regardless of what comes against me, I know that I am protected and safe. If not, well...I guess I get to go to heaven so either way I'm good!
On a personal note...I do have a theory about why the earthquake happened when it did. The Cowboy's won...and moved to the numero dos spot in the polls. God, being the big Pokes fan that He is...was just doin' a little jig up there...and made the earth shake a bit...just my opinion though. I'm good with it...
NOVEMBER 5, 2011
It's been a perfectly slow, long, relaxing Saturday today, and for that, I am thankful. After an especially stressful week, I have looked forward to this day since, well, last Sunday night. I was able to sleep in...well until about 8:30 anyways cause I'm old now, and I don't really sleep in anymore. But it's better than 6:30. After waking up, and having a perfect cup 'o coffee made for me (there is no better coffee made than the one made by somebody else!) I settled in for a quick(ish) paper to write up. Because the particular classes I'm in at the moment are something that I remotely enjoy, and because the instructors have to be smoking crack, I'm making near-perfect A's so the paper wasn't all that difficult to write. Just a little time consuming. So a few hours of my time and a 5 pager was done. 3 down, 1 more to go for the weekend.
There can't be anything much more perfect than not having any plans for a Saturday, except to not have anything to do. After cleaning up for the day, we decided to run to town to do a few things. After a trip through the county craft show (it was pretty entertaining...we have a lot of fun wherever we go) we ended up picking up groceries for supper. Then, because this is usually how we roll, we decided to run to Hobby Lobby because I'm getting all nesty and ready to decorate a real house...so we had some looking to do. I love looking around and making plans with Sean...even if we don't buy anything it is so fun to just wonder around, looking at things and dreaming. And laughing at some of the weird stuff and the weird people that buy it. And because it's after Halloween, and because Hobby Lobby has all of their Christmas stuff out, and because Sean has completely rearranged the living room just so we can put the tree in front of the big windows, we decided to put up the Christmas tree now. Why not? It's not decorated...just up and lit. We are going to wait till the kids get back to decorate it, because we would be the worlds worst parents on the face of the earth if we did it without them...I must admit, the nice glow of the tree in the window is so peaceful and romantic. I've missed it!
While I was dragging out the big, clumsy box that holds the Christmas tree from under Jordy's bed, Sean started a perfect supper of nachos. The smell was incredible...nothing says decorating for Christmas like amazing Mexican food! I am pretty sure I can't remember the last time I was this relaxed on a Saturday night...at the moment we are snuggling up on the couch with the game on (go Pokes!), bellies full of a freaking awesome supper, and the lights low; the room lit with the low glow of the tree. I even bought a new Christmas scent for my Scentsy thingy...it is so peaceful in here. I am really fighting off sleep right now...
These are the moments that I absolutely live for during a busy, stressful week. The quiet, peaceful times alone with my best friend and love might be few and far between, but that just makes me cherish them that much more. I am blessed to have the opportunity to get to spend this time together with him. We might live a boring life according to some...but to us, it is the life we've always wanted! I know this isn't a huge thankful for life, or God, or something big and obvious kind of blog today. But I am so thankful for days like this. Lord knows we have needed this...
NOVEMBER 4, 2011
Writing about how thankful I am for my kids could seriously take up, like, 47 blogs on a daily basis. So I will avoid the whole "they are the best things that ever (surprise!) happened to me, and honestly saved my life on more than a dozen occasions. Cause they have, and I am so blessed that God, for some crazy reason in His infinite wisdom thought that I would be remotely good enough to be their momma. And I'm not about to start calling God crazy, so I've just accepted this fact. They are mine, and I am absolutely in love with them. They are the most resilient, tough kids I have had the privilege to know; I only hope that I can learn from their strength cause Lord knows I've had to draw from it. On the roughest days, I've looked to them to make my world right again. Their smiles and personalities can't help but leave you smiling, and seeing the good in life again. On the days that I am completely broken and feel like I can't go another step, I manage to go on...if only for their sake. They never know the struggles I have to face sometimes, but they also don't know what they do to make those struggles manageable. From Jaxton's sweet, all consuming, loving hugs that are so honest and genuine, to Jordy's off the wall sense of humor and knock knock jokes (Knock knock! Who's there? TV! TV who? TV ran across the road and got a yellow crayon!! Get it? Ha ha ha!!), I can't help but feel better. The honest, pure love they have, and are confident enough to show, brings me to tears so many times that I am usually reduced to mush, but in a good way. And I'm not a cryer! So for today, I am most thankful that, regardless of the day, the circumstances, or even if they are physically here with me or not, my babies have the ability to make life worth it. They are my get up and go. And this is so relevant, especially today, because of some of the personal places I have been in lately. With all that is going on, both the obvious stresses and the very personal struggles that only I know, they are my light. I am so blessed to have been given the opportunity to love them and I can only pray and do all I can to show them how incredibly special they are.
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| His sweet kisses make my day! Even if I have to force them now. |
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| Her sense of humor is...well...a little off the wall. But she is funny! |
NOVEMBER 3, 2011
My sister informed me that, because of having her in my life, I should have enough material to write about in my thankfulness blog all month long. Well, after some careful consideration, a late night and possibly a few alcoholic drinks, I've decided to do just that. Although I'm going to narrow it down to just one day, to pacify her. And to say ha, I did it...betcha didn't think I would write about ya, did you??
For today, I am thankful for my big sister, Rhonda. I never, ever thought I would be. She is my big sister, after all. She's quite a bit older than me (almost 8 years) and because of that, the whole time we were growing up, she thought she was the boss of me. I grew up with another mom, and truth be told, didn't think I needed the one I was born to, let alone the one that was self-appointed. The standard cry heard when she was forced to babysit me was "You're not the boss of me!". That battle cry was almost always met with arguments to the contrary...Today I do actually feel a shred of remorse for the trouble I put her through...just a shred though. I do have pride.
We grew up totally different. She's (obviously) red-headed, freckled-faced and fair; I'm olive skinned, dark haired and tan very easily. This was a huge area of contention at the start of summer time for us. At least for her directed towards me. It really didn't bother me. She would bake herself in the sun after slathering up with the preferred concoction of Crisco and baby oil, and spend hours outside, only to have herself burn to a crisp. I, however, could walk outside to check the mail, and walk back in a full 3 shades darker. That was enough to make her made enough to not talk to me for 2 days. But who was I to complain? We each grew up with our own interests; she had band (nerd...sorry, I couldn't resist) and was really pretty smart. I remember looking at the who's who book thing she had in her room. I never made it in to that secret society. However, I had sports (too long of a list to start here) and social activities. She tried softball. Once. It was pretty comical. All in all, I was the pesky little sister who got in her room, wore her clothes, and messed up all her stuff. She had every right in the world to brush me off and not want to want me around. And she didn't really. So fast forward...a while.
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| My big sister...she's so pretty! |
Now that we are both older (and she is WAY older than me), both moms, and way more mature, we have so much more in common. The same parenting issues, family disorders to deal with (gotta love our family), and stresses with all the issues surrounding the care of our mom that we can bounce our struggles off of each other. I have such a profound respect for her, and, believe it or not, look up to her in a way that a little sister should idolize her older, wiser sister. Although I have yet (if ever) to tell her, she has really been a secret hero of mine, to be able to live out some of her own personal struggles and be made a better person for it, choosing not to be bitter and angry. She really is someone I can learn a lot from. Especially now, I find myself relying heavily on her to carry the burden of caring for our mom, day after day, while I have to be 100+ miles away. When I would rather be there than anywhere else in the world, and she would rather be anywhere else in the world than there, yet again, being the one called on to be the main caretaker. She has jumped in and gone above and beyond what anyone could have asked her to do all the countless days and nights with out mom. I know she is in the best possible hands when my sister is taking care of her. I have no reason to worry. That is a level of comfort that only a big sister can provide.
So on this 3rd day of my Thankfulness in November, what started out to be kind of a ha ha to my big sister has really turned into a little bit of a sob fest. I really do love my big sister...and I am so very thankful (now) that I have her. I have learned so much from getting to watch her all throughout our lives, even from a distance. She is everything I hope to become, except for the nonathletic, pale parts of her. But I can look past that.
NOVEMBER 2, 2011
So this is harder than it looks, trying to write about one thing I'm thankful for everyday. Not so much because there isn't anything to be grateful for, but because there are several things. And I'm really trying to be specific as to what is going on for the particular day and situation. So for today, I am so, so thankful for close friends and being able to discover who your real friends are. Over the last few years, I've learned the lesson of finding who my real friends are, and it seems recently at least I've needed a refresher. Thankfully not on the same scale as previously, but just in little reminders from just watching and seeing the type of people I want in my life.
First and foremost, I am most thankful for the best friend I have found in Sean. I have heard so many girls say that their mate is their best friend, at least while he is around, but their behavior speaks otherwise. There are some that say it is completely impossible to have a mate/spouse as a best friend because who would you talk to or share your secrets with? Who else should I be to share every thing with? He has been with me through the ups and downs and the thick and thin and has really reflected and lived out the true meaning of what a best friend should be, regardless of the relationship. I really hope the kids are able to watch the way he serves selflessly and can learn from him. We have grown so close over this past year; not just in our personal relationship but in our friendship as well. When I say he knows everything about me and loves me in spite of it all, I'm not lying!
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| A best friend that's easy on the eyes, too...the best of both worlds! |
In the end, as I mature and have had the pain and loss of being hurt by those that I considered close friends and the joy and bonds of growing and nurturing new relationships, I am continually reminded that life isn't one big social scene. I'm not here to collect things and people just to play the popular game. I'm over that. I want true, honest friendships that mean something to me; that I know I can rely on them and they on me as well. The older I get the more important quality over quantity is. I am so blessed and grateful for meaningful, real friendships I have been given.
NOVEMBER 1, 2011
I'm sitting here with my mom at the oncologists office right at the moment, watching her get her last chemo treatment. I'm having a hard time narrowing down what I am going to write about today. It could be the obvious "I still have my mom and she's still alive" post. Don't get me wrong. I am more than grateful that I still have my mom and that she has been beating this aggressive beast of breast cancer. There's also the obvious thankfulness of even finding the cancer, and being able to catch it just before it spread to other organs. That in and of itself was a miracle, and another post for another day. I'm thankful for that, too. But today, I'm thankful for something a little more personal, and probably "smaller" than that. I've learned over the last 6 months that sometimes finding the thankfulness in the small things can at times be the most gratifying.
Two gentlemen, one in his 50's the other young 40's, both cancer patients, were talking in the waiting room about their disease. The older one, with colon cancer, was given weeks to live, he said. The younger man asked him how long ago that was. He replied with 6 weeks. There was an obvious pain and sadness that fell over him and his wife at that moment. The younger man began with his story; it was just as jarring to me. He was misdiagnosed for quite awhile; ended up quitting his job and starting up his own business. Along with that goes his health and life insurance out the window. About that time he learns that he, in fact, had stage 4 colon cancer that had spread through most of his organs. They won't do surgery. He has 5 kids. He drives over 3 hours one way to get his chemo every week, just to try and live a little bit longer. One thing these two guys had in common in that they, understandably, weren't, or really couldn't, smile. He was noticeably sick and struggling to savor the last bit of life he has. They both were.
Through all of this, it was just the three of us in the waiting room. About that time my mom returns, and we get to talking. And laughing. And smiling. She is about to go into a room, get 6 or 7 hours worth of poison pumped through a port in her neck, knowing how horribly sick she is going to get, and yet she can still laugh and smile. Granted, she is not in the 6 weeks to live, or the incurable every organ involved stage of cancer. But. Hers is advanced. And just as serious. And she is sick. But she is brave and fights with a smile on her face and can still laugh. We spent much of this morning laughing and smiling, getting to spend the day together, even though these circumstances aren't ideal. We do what we can.
So for this first day, I have to say I am thankful that, despite the tough challenges and circumstances, there are still reasons to smile. I am living proof of the idea that there is always something good along with something bad going on in our lives at all times; not a series of roller coasters of up and down times. Sometimes the bad stuff gets overwhelming to me, and I really have to focus on the small victories. Sometimes, I have to really look for them. I have to dig pretty deep. But they are still there.
OCTOBER 31, 2011
As cliche' as it may seem, for the month of November I want to write every single day (at least try really hard to) about something I am thankful for. I realize that it's been done a million times by a billion bloggers, but I've never done it and it's not been on this blog before. Not that I have a full plate already, or anything, but I am really determined to do this. There are days, I realize, that I might be stretching to find something, but all in all I have been blessed far beyond what a person could possibly deserve. One way to remind myself of these blessings is to sit down and actually think of something, intentionally. I got this email the other day that really opened my eyes to the importance of our focus. Here is just part of it...the part that really stuck with me...
This is an absolutely incredible short interview by Paul Bradshaw with Rick Warren, 'Purpose Driven Life ' author and pastor of Saddleback Church in California. Rick said:
Life is a series of problems: Either you are in one now, you're just coming out of one, or you're getting ready to go into another one.
The reason for this is that God is more interested in your character than your comfort; God is more interested in making your life holy than He is in making your life happy.
We can be reasonably happy here on earth, but that's not the goal of life. The goal is to grow in character, in Christ likeness.
Rather than life being hills and valleys, I believe that it's kind of like two rails on a railroad track, and at all times you have something good and something bad in your life.
No matter how good things are in your life, there is always something bad that needs to be worked on. And no matter how bad things are in your life, there is always something good you can thank God for.
You can focus on your purposes, or you can focus on your problems:
If you focus on your problems, you're going into self-centeredness, which is my problem, my issues, my pain.' But one of the easiest ways to get rid of pain is to get your focus off yourself and onto God and others.
We need to ask ourselves: Am I going to live for possessions? Popularity?
Am I going to be driven by pressures? Guilt? Bitterness? Materialism? Or am I going to be driven by God's purposes (for my life)?
When I get up in the morning, I sit on the side of my bed and say, "God, if I don't get anything else done today, I want to know You more and love You better."
God didn't put me on earth just to fulfill a to-do list. He's more interested in what I am than what I do.
That's why we're called human beings, not human doings.
Happy moments, PRAISE GOD.
Difficult moments, SEEK GOD.
Quiet moments, WORSHIP GOD.
Painful moments, TRUST GOD.
Every moment, THANK GOD.
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