Sorry kids, I'm never gonna be normal!

      I love having kids.  I could be all sentimental here and go on and on about how they have saved my life, brought me out of some of the darkest times imaginable, and made me laugh when I never thought it would be possible again.  The are fun to snuggle, buy things for, and teach ornery things to.  But.  Because I happen to be a not so traditional parent, my kids have gotten the benefit of having a rather "entertaining" childhood.  The most common phrase heard 'round the house of late happens to be "Mom, why can't you just be a normal Mom?".  Well, kids, cause I can't.  I refuse to drive a minivan (no offense to those that do; it's just not me) and I will NEVAH wear mom jeans (again, no offense).  I am more of a sing along with the song at the store~loudly~in order to embarrass my kids, or do the potty dance myself, just cause one of them has to pee... so that means I just better do the dance.  We all make sacrifices for our kids, right? 

These poor children deserve a normal mom.

     But.  My one area of pride and joy is this: I love answering a random, age appropriate question with an off the wall, even more random, totally wrong answer.  Like this:  "Mom, why is the sky blue?"  "Well, Jordy, cause God got mad at all the little blue Smurfs that were up there and crushed them with His feet.  So it made a pretty, blue rug for him to walk on, cause there were soooo many little blue Smurfs up there.  Point is, Jordy, don't make God mad.  And try not to step on little blue people"  Now.  Jordy's big brown eyes will get even bigger and rounder in amazement while trying to figure this all out.  Jax, on the other hand, is on to me.  His response?  Usually accompanied with eye rolling and sighing... "No, Mom, really.  Why is the sky blue?"  So for the fun game with Jax I take the opposite approach.  Just to tweak it a little bit I tell him the truth.  Yep.  The truth.  But I go way over board and tell him in such scientific detail that it just blows his ever lovin' mind.  His response?  Usually accompanied with eye rolling and sighing... "No, Mom, really.  Why is the sky blue?"  Can't win for losing.  Funny though that my son just doesn't believe the first thing I say, even if it is the truth (now that is just SAD).

Don't let 'em fool ya.  I've rubbed off on them just enough to make them fun!

     Either way, I choose to have fun.  I choose to be a fun mom.  And we laugh.  A lot.  I embarrass them.  A lot.  I have a feeling I will hear the question of when will I ever be a normal mom way more than I will ever care to count.  Someday, though, they will appreciate it.  When they realize that I wasn't one of "those" moms.  The stuffy, proper kind.  We won't ever have the Leave it to Beaver life.  I will never be Jane.  June.  Jean.  Whatever.  Point is, I will never feel obligated to "perform" to that standard.  The house won't be spotless.  The kids won't always be kept clean, or the best behaved...they do act a lot like me, after all.  Lucky lil' things.  They will be loved, though.  And they will laugh.  A lot.  I know I may not ever actually hear a "thank you" for it.  I will know how happy they were as kids by how much they will laugh as adults (I hear teenagers don't laugh, or smile so much.  I will just have to wait till after that stage).  Or at least I will tell myself that.   Look on the bright side...they will have lots of things to talk to their therapist about!

How we know we're having a good time: click RIGHT HERE. RIGHT NOW.
PS.  Uncle Nathan does know how to read.  He's rather smart, actually.  Not sure where she got that.

I am one proud mama right now...who wants to have plain 'ol normal kids, anyways?

The first boy to ever steal my heart...

     I'm sure by the title of this blog you're expecting a Harlequin Romance novel.  Something that will make your heart stand still with anticipation...make your blood boil with passion...make the hair on the back of your neck stand up and tingle.  Sorry to disappoint you cause this ain't it.  It is, however, filled with first kisses, dancing in the dark, and spending countless hours talking about hopes and dreams.  It's about listening to fears, both real and absurd.  It's full of being silly, being ourselves and making memories that will be cherished a lifetime.  About putting my hopes, heart, and unconditional love into one single person.  It's all about trusting, without question.  And without any fear or doubts about being hurt.  The kind of love and relationship we all hope and dream about, and so many of us girls pray many countless hours for (Lord knows I have!).
     I will admit.  The first time I laid my eyes on him, he looked a little...well...rough.  Good thing looks aren't everything.  But it was instant.  We had that connection; something there that unless you've felt it, you really can't understand.  He wasn't really paying much attention to me, but I was cool with it.  We had plenty of time to get to know each other.  And we did.  He learned to rely on me to meet his every basic need; I found myself looking to him to fulfill some deep desire to feel loved.  Not that looking to him for love was healthy; sometimes desperate times call for desperate measures.  Our closeness probably was made more intense due to the circumstances under which he came into my life.  There was heartache, turmoil and stress during the months leading up to our meeting, pain that continued well into the years that followed.  But that really didn't matter.  I finally wasn't alone anymore.  We were together in this world; finally I had someone with which I could share this road and journey.  He came into my life at the least expected time; probably the least opportune time really.  If ever there was a time for classic cliche' lines, this would be it: God works in mysterious ways.
    But we lived life.  Every day our love grew stronger and we continued to grow closer.  We spent our nights together, whispering how much I loved him and him returning the love just by the adoring look on his face.  Many, many nights we danced in the dark; the moonlight streaming in the window, bouncing off the furniture to cast shadows across the room.  These are the memories most cherished.  Although we continue to grow closer and our relationship continue to evolve day by day and year to year, we will never dance in the moonlight again.  We are past that.  The middle of the night talks, while they still happen, are fewer and farther between.  There are others who get to hear what is on his mind; they share little pieces of him that were once just mine to have.

The heart stealer

   I'm okay with this, I really am.  This is the way it has to be.  While he will always be my first true love, and he will always be mine, he will have to move on.  He will move on to love someone else; give his heart to that someone that God has already planned for him.  But I want to be the one he talks to about it.  If he will let me.  I have loved him so that he will love others.  Love others with a whole-hearted, no holds barred love, but with a special spot in his heart reserved for me.  Somehow, I really don't think that will ever be a problem...he may never dance in the moonlight with me, but we will always be able to laugh, to talk, to be sill, to be ourselves.